Otis and Buster Goes Huntin'

It all started when I got that darned phone call from Buster! He had been on me to go Bow Huntin' with him for the last 3 weeks. He said he had got permission to hunt this real "Honey" of a farm, "Has not been hunted in 20 years", he said. "300 acres of the best bottom land you ever saw." Well, I knowed better but , it sounded good and I bit.
First, let me tell you 'bout Buster. See, he aint got no whole lotta' friends. I don't know if it's 'cause people don't like him, or if it's the fact that he's just a liar!
Now let me tell ya, Buster has been knowed to go from bendin' the truth to flat out lyin' in less than 3 seconds!
Like the time he invited us all down at The Plant to go Dove huntin'.
"Been personally invited to come and bring all your friends, got plenty of room!"
First time we knowed the man not to lie!, The field was as big as Lake Norris and Man!, the birds was a flyin'!
Six Pick up Trucks and ten people left that field with near to 100 Birds!
Didn't make it far....Seems the personal invite came from an Uncle that used to know a man that worked for a cousin of the previous land owner! Twenty citiations later, for huntin' a baited field and trespassin', we finally hit blacktop with poor ol' Buster a walkin'.
Anyways, I got kinda side tracked for a minute, but, yeah the place had not been hunted in 20 years.
First of all, you caint find it, and second, who in their right mind wants to hunt 12 acres of rock!
Yep, that's right! I could pick up one of those parched sandstones and chuck it across the little lot we was huntin'.
After 15 minutes of me explorin' all the possible combinations of cuss words, Buster finally just throwed up his hands and took up a stand on a pile of rocks on the left, and I, still findin' new combinations, hunkered down behind a 5ft. sandstone.
Now let me tell ya, tryin to eat a lunch of beanie weenies in a field of sandstone in a thirty mile an hour wind, is kinda like tryin' to eat raw grits, it aint gonna work! Two weeks and 42 brushin's later, it's still wearin' hard on my molars!
Somehow, after my last bite of brick mortar, I must have found some relief from the skeeters and gnats, because I was awakened from a beautiful dream of Honeysuckles and Big Wide Racked Bucks, by the sound of "YEEEEHAWWW! I GOT'EM!"
After calmin' down and catchin' his breath, Buster told me how he watched his nice "spike" followin' a couple of does.
And took'em broadside at THREE yards!
Well, I gotta tell ya, that was the finest speciman of a 62 pound brown and white Billy Goat I have ever seen!
After helpin' him pile rocks on his latest trophy, I have decided that this is my last trip with Buster ....After....
This "Great" Alaska Fishin' trip he has planned out for us!
Well, my name is Otis and that is how it started.
How will it ever end? I don't rightly know. But, I'll see ya later,
And tell your folks I said Hi.

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